Things I’m Afraid of.

1. Flying Grasshoppers
2. Asian people at nail salons
3. Monkeys
4. Failure
5. Love handles
6. The measles
7. Elevators
8. Construction workers. (Based on experience.) I was driving through a detour one time and got confused and started to go the wrong way and they all started waving their arms at me and yelling. Terrifying.
9. Waking up one day and not being able to be funny again.
10. Large rodents
11. Getting old
12. Having to wear mom jeans at any point in my life
13. Fortune tellers
14. Cavities
15. Marrying someone and then realizing they’re not the right person. Or waking up one day and falling out of love with them, or them with me.
16. Cranes with big beaks.
17. Feeling inferior
18. Being a bad parent.
19. Falling into a volcano